Category Archives: Gifts
Pimp Your Gin
Pimp Your Gin – Enjoy a superior (pimped out, if you will) cocktail with a sophisticated organic garnish, lovingly hand reared by a gorgeous, charismatic gardener – you! It’s dead easy to use and contains everything you need other than a little bit of water – Firebox ain’t about that struggle.
The Tuck (Wolf Grey)
The Tuck – Millions of years since the invention of the humble blanket, it has reached peak evolution in the form of the Tuck.
The Tuck (Teddy Brown)
The Tuck – Millions of years since the invention of the humble blanket, it has reached peak evolution in the form of the Tuck.
Dandi Patch (For Him)
Dandi Patch – Most antiperspirants and deodorants have a tendency to slack off when you need them most – and even when they’re trying their hardest, they’re no match for running for the bus, climbing those pesky office stairs, or a summer journey on the Central line.
Bottomless Bubbles
Bottomless Bubbles – Shove it down yer ‘ole – the wine bottle’s hole, that is – and chug away to your thirsty heart’s content. It’s THAT simple! Basically, why not? You’re only going to drink the whole damn bottle anyway, own it like the boozy legend you are.
Giant Unicorn Sprinkler
Giant Unicorn Sprinkler – 6 ft tall inflatable unicorn that sprays ‘magic’ water from its majestic horn. Everyone loves running through the cool mist of a sprinkler on a sweltering summer’s day. Easily connects to your garden hose, and inflates / deflates real quick thanks to the wide-mouth cap and fancy air valve.
Fucking Strong Coffee Chocolate Beans
Fucking Strong Coffee Chocolate Beans – A word of advice: don’t have one of these. Because you’ll want another. And another. And another, until you’ve finished the whole damn jar and now what are you going to give your uncle for his birthday, you greedy little piglet?
Twerk Pong
Twerk Pong – Shaking dat ass is fun but it could be better. Make like a tech start-up and gamify your favourite bum-themed dance with Twerk Pong, the game of vigorously gyrating balls out of your ass!
Virtual Pet
Virtual Pet – Remember the hours you spent painstakingly raising your Tamagotchi? Prepare your thumbs to do it all over again with Virtual Pet.
Spreadable Whisky
Spreadable Whisky – The surprisingly delicious way to sneak a rich dose of malty goodness onto your morning toast. Marvellously indulgent, this whisky spread is the perfect treat for when a morning tipple would be a step too far into alcoholism. A seductive hint of what smokey delight lies beyond sundown.
Trump Socks
Trump Socks – Sorry losers and haters, but these socks are some of the comfiest ‘ and you all know it! Please don’t feel stupid or insecure about your existing collection of mediocre footwear, it’s not your fault capitalism hadn’t gifted you with options like these Donald Trump socks yet.
Fake News Game
Fake News – Ready for Trump to drop even further down in your estimations? You may think that’s impossible but just wait till you get a load of these disgusting quotes of his.
Commodore 64 Mini
Your bestselling beige buddy is back in miniature form with some seriously slick upgrades. Gone are the days of bulky cartridges and bulbous fuzzy monitors, all of your favourite classic games are fully built in and have HD output at 720p so those familiar pixels are extra crisp and better than ever.
Rainbow Neon Wall Light
Rainbow Neon Wall Light – What have you got on your wall currently? That art deco ‘chat noir’ poster? Bob Marley smiling into the distance? Van Gogh’s starry night? Audrey Hepburn in Breakfast At Tiffany’s?
Retro Briefcase Turntable (Black)
Retro Briefcase Turntable – Let’s be real for a minute, you’re not one of those vinyl nerds are you? Good, they’re weird – but they do have a point. Vinyl does just sound ‘better’.
Whisky Chocolate
Whisky Chocolate – What’s better than a shot of whisky? Nothing! A bar of rich, creamy Belgian milk chocolate infused with whisky!
Retro Briefcase Turntable (Blue)
Retro Briefcase Turntable – Let’s be real for a minute, you’re not one of those vinyl nerds are you? Good, they’re weird – but they do have a point. Vinyl does just sound ‘better’.
Cynical Stationery Notebook Trio
Cynical Stationery Notebook Trio – Release all your tightly-coiled angst onto the smooth pages of our Cynical Stationery Notebook Trio
Coffee Paints
Coffee Paints – Coffee Paints are the latest marvellous creation to be hatched from laboratoire Firebox. This charming little box contains four different edible ‘paints’ to brighten and colour your java. Take your pick from Emerald, Ruby, Amethyst, and Sapphire – each one more vibrant than the last.
Fragranced As F*ck Candles (Juicy As F*ck)
Fragranced As F*ck Candles – Honey. Sweetie. Darling. We DID NOT come to play with these paraffin pretenders. These candles are aggressively luxe. The frosted, heavyweight jars. The days of burn time. The eco-friendly soy wax that won’t give your lungs any grief. The lead free wick so you’re not breathing in literal poison. We
